Well, I finally think I am out of the denial phase of the pregnancy...where I had just thought 'no, this isn't happening again....'
Dare I say it...I begin to get a little bit excited....at week 32! ;) Well, I like to take things slowly!
We haven't bought much at all for this baby, having been fully organised with Reuben! Its all gone by so quickly....but yesterday whilst shopping for Reuben's treat for being such a pro with the potty training (all done in 6 days!) we also decided to get a couple of brightly coloured and squeaky things for the littleun :) Seeing this as a good opportunity to involve Reuben I ask him which toy he thinks 'baby in the tummy' would like? He proceeds to point, rather begrudingly... 'that one!' he says quite stroppily, really wanting to go and play with the dinosaurs instead! We enthuse that can be his present for the baby....not that he is bothered! ;)
Grandparents have quite kindly bought little pieces of clothing, I have some unisex ones left over from Reuben that I have kept. Decided to sort all of these out today to look through and coo now I only have 8 (ish!) weeks left! Again, showing Reuben the baby clothes and explaining how he will 'be a fantastic big brother' and how he can help Mummy with all the important jobs like 'bathing the baby, putting nappy on baby and playing with the baby and making sure there is plenty of cuddles!' Reuben looks at me and says ' I can show baby the cars!' A typical boy, he is totally in love with his cars so I see this as something really sweet and important he is offering to the baby!
So I reply ' The baby would love to see your cars!'
So I have clothes organised and now we have a vague hint of Summer (hoorah) I plan to wash them...and watch them flapping about on the line is the sun :) they are all so small....I stumbled across Reuben's first outfit....can't work out whether to smile or cry really, for so many reasons. It reminds me of a time I felt pure joy at my beautiful baby, pure sadness at his arrival, physically and emotionally a wreck. I also remember it was a little big for him...but he was huge when born!?!?! I can't believe he ever fit into anything so tiny!
Reuben has always had a best friend....a snuggly bear/blanket which he calls 'Teddy'....we have a similar one and I asked Reuben today would he like to give it to the new baby, seems he loves his Teddy so much....he has agreed to give this to the baby as a present....I think ;)
We have also been reading some baby/birth children's books to try and get him a little prepared, and he seems to enjoy reading these. I know he is only coming up for 2.5 years old, but sometimes it can be hard enough for me to get my head around the fact that there is a new baby coming! I just don't want the baby turning up (yes, its that easy) and Reuben thinking 'Woah, no one ever told me about this!'
I am also, and normally so I suppose, anxious that Reuben is not left out....he is still very much my baby and the thought of him feeling that way makes me want to cry! I suppose thats why I am trying so much now to lay the ground work for the changes that are around the corner. Its hard though...I am also aware that I don't want everything he hears and does for the next 8 weeks to be 'about the baby'.
Truthfully, what I expect is, jealousy in the beginning...but everyone is under strict instructions to come and make a fuss of Reuben just as always, and not to wonder straight over to the baby. I have also set aside a week when baby is born that is just ours as a family of 4, trying to bond and settle. After this period of us all getting to know each other I think he will be a fantastic Brother....caring, considerate, if anything a bit over possessive of the new baby! Yes, I think he will be brilliant, just as he continues to be a rather amazing, gorgeous Son :)
Any tips, welcome followers! xxx
And he will always be a rather amazing gorgeous son and an equally rather amazing and gorgeous big brother. But, at times,he will also a horribly jealous, 'No, me first!' sibling.
ReplyDeleteIt's all part and parcel of learning to be human, I think. Everyone sees becoming a sibling as the beginnings of learning to share, how to negotiate and get along with others. But, what I see is that becoming a sibling is also about the beginning of developing a sense of compassion and altruism for others. Is that not, after all, what makes us human in the first place?
One thing I was totally unprepared for as a parent was that it would be the second child who was far more jealous than the first. We spent so much time preparing our two year old daughter for her brother's arrival. And then, to our astonishment, it was our 9 month old son who howled in rage and tried to push his sister off my lap or threw a tantrum if I read aloud to her.
We all want to come first, so perhaps another lesson to be learnt on the journey to becoming human, is that sometimes we all have to be in second place, just not all the time. ;o)